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St Peter’s Gate


I had a dream the other night

I was climbing Jacob’s ladder.

St Peter stood at Paradise Gate

Pondering what proof I had

That I was fit to enter.

I’ve witnesses who’ll gladly

State said I, I know

I have not lived too badly

In my eighty years below.


What witnesses are they? said Peter,

Beware. You see that leaden bell?

It tolls sinners down to hell.

Your four children? Said he

And twirled his massive key,

Oh no I’m sure they’ll be

Too prejudiced for me.

Below the ladder swung.

Was Jacob warning me?

I climbed another rung

And spoke more confidentially.


My youngest, said I - did

My back a world of good

She found a knot on a vertebrae

She could manipulate away.

Manipulation eh?

I heard St Peter say,

That’s not the way to clear

The moral knots which make me fear

I’ll cast you down from here.


My eldest plays the flute said I

She’ll swell the heavenly litany

Of praise beyond your gate

She does appreciate

My worth. Said Peter, So?

Flute? But she must know

That all of us within play

Harps. You may well contrive

To hear how my bell rings

Should she not strive

To pull the proper strings.


My second knows the ropes

Said I, Environmental law

Wind farms, and such, she hopes

Will be the future, hails the right

Of women everywhere to votes.

Herself votes green, I’d say.

Green? In here we’re white,

Spoke Peter. Rights for women eh?

No good. All Hail!

We angels are all male

It’s true some would

Be female round the edge –

We have a feminist fringe or should

I rather say, a wedge?

And what about my third?

I said, Have a word

With her. She fixed a date

To celebrate my eight-

tieth day in sunny Brittany.

She’ll testify for me.

She’s no-one’s fool,

She saved a failing school.

But Hey! I then heard Peter say,

No one fails or ails

Behind heaven’s gate.

I needn’t talk to her

And it’s getting late.


He paused. In France did

You dine well? he asked.

Of course. My sons in law

Are splendid cooks. It was

An ambrosial paradise.

My daughters always

Give them good advice –

Or they say they do,

And you should listen too..


Ambrosial was it?

Nectar too? said Peter

So you’re quite up to date

With what’s inside our gate?

Climb down, Live a while longer

And a little better. Those who

Loosen knots, or offer help

To those who fail below,

Dress in white not green,

And pluck the strings they know,

Even she who blows a note

Will testify for you I hope




If not, I’ll cut your rope.


©Terry Hodgson2020

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